


You Said Forever Now I Drive Alone Past Your Street

by UltravioletSunshine



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28903206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltravioletSunshine/pseuds/UltravioletSunshine
Summary: You can already tell by the title this is sad as hell so read to your own riskLewis takes a 4 am drive that is ruined by a song that reminds him of Nico
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	You Said Forever Now I Drive Alone Past Your Street

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo at 1 am and this happened. If you don't like what I write just exit the page and go about your day. I do this for free and it's called fiction for a reason. The title is from Drivers License and all the lyrics are from google so it's they're wrong blame google, also I don't own shit. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!

Driving around Monaco at 4 am wasn't what Lewis had planned. His head filled with too many thoughts involving a specific blond kept him awake so, having Roscoe ride shotgun driving to look at the water seemed like the best option. Lewis always felt more comfortable in a car, hands on the wheel, foot on the accelerator, and music playing softly in the background relaxes him. Focusing on something other than the memories that cause his heart to ache allows his shoulders to drop the tension they carry. He feels lighter with every passing second. 

Lewis drives the long way to the harbor easing the Mercedes around the empty streets. He watches Roscoe out of the corner of his eye, curled into a ball but not sleeping. Lewis turns up the music just a little bit, getting lost in the sounds while waiting for the light to change from red to green. He's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as one song ends and the next starts. 

_I got my driver's license last week  
Just like we always talked about  
'Cause you were so excited for me  
To finally drive up to your house  
But today I drove through the suburbs  
Crying 'cause you weren't around_

Lewis feels his heart drop. The last thing he wants right now is something else reminding him of Nico. He reaches over to his phone, thumb hovering over the skip button but hesitates. He drops his phone when the light turns green and allows the lyrics to mix with memories. Cars will always remind him of Nico; no matter if it was racing or road Nico and cars were synonymous in Lewis's heart. Lewis remembers their karting days, but he also remembers driving to see Nico right after getting his license. He remembers the late-night ice cream runs and exchanging kisses in dark parking lots. 

_And you're probably with that blonde girl  
Who always made me doubt  
She's so much older than me  
She's everything I'm insecure about  
Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs  
'Cause how could I ever love someone else?_

Lewis gets lost in memories of being young and in love with his best friend. He remembers backseats and pressing a hand to Nico's mouth to keep them from being caught. Days at the track working on their karts and dreaming about how they would be something special in Formula 1. But with the sweet nostalgia comes the bitter reality too. Lewis is thrown into thoughts of Vivian and meeting her for the first time. His thoughts of how much better for Nico she would be, how they wouldn't have to hide their love. 

_And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one  
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone  
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me  
'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street_

Then came the memories of the fights. How ugly it got near the end and how by the time they broke up, Lewis hardly recognized the boy he gave his heart to all those years ago. Lewis vividly remembers the elation when it was announced that they would be teammates and the subsequent crash and burn of a relationship years in the making. They used to sit on the hood of the car and look at the stars holding hands, Nico whispering that they were forever and nothing was going to stop them. In the end, they were the only ones to blame, but it was only right that the spark that made them friends would engulf them in flames. 

_And all my friends are tired  
Of hearing how much I miss you but  
I kinda feel sorry for them  
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do  
Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs  
And pictured I was driving home to you_

Sebastian and Daniel have heard him cry, complain, cry some more, and miss Nico despite all that has happened. And every time without fail, Lewis ends up sad, saying they never knew him the way he did. How gentle Nico was and how his eyes shined extra bright when he laughed or how he would dance when washing dishes. They didn't know about the plans they made. The house in Monaco that would have a massive yard for the 4 dogs they would have (10 dogs is too many dogs Lewis 4 is more than enough)or the team they would create together (The team should be purple, whatever you say, darling). 

_And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one  
Oh, and I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone  
I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me  
'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street_

They were a mess from the start, but it didn't matter when they still had stars in their eyes and the feeling that they were invincible. They were two kids dumb and in love with the world at their fingertips, unable to even think that they could love anyone or anything more than they love each other. Now Lewis sits in his car, still heartbroken and unable to drive past his street. 

_Red lights  
Stop signs  
I still see your face  
In the white cars  
Front yards  
Can't drive past the places  
We used to  
Go to  
'Cause I still fucking love you, babe_

Lewis didn't even realize he had turned down a street, taking him away from the water, until he recognized which street he was on. Red lights and stop signs are more reminders of the man he loves. He remembers almost running a red because he was watching Nico scream along to the radio and the fights over who got to choose the music that would end in Nico holding his hand, thumb brushing his knuckles, or bringing his hand up to his lips for a soft kiss. He also remembers the stolen kisses at stop signs on their way to their favorite spot. And that's the worst part about Monaco, Lewis can't go anywhere without memories of the blond seeping him. Nico was sewn into Lewis, and even as the stitches fray, the love remains. 

_Sidewalks  
We crossed  
I still hear your voice  
In the traffic  
We're laughing  
Over all the noise  
God, I'm so blue  
Know we're through  
But I still fucking love you, babe_

Lewis passes Nico's house and is reminded that while he still loves the boy he gave his heart to at 15, that boy loves another. He blinks back tears and swallows the lump in his throat. Knuckles turning white on the steering wheel as he tries to push away the memories, the hurt. The drive was supposed to relax him, but instead, it made it worse. When he reaches the water, he puts the car in park and sits. The dull ache in his heart tells him he will forever drive alone past Nico's street with only the memories of promises of forever. 

_I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one  
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone  
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me  
'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street_

Lewis blindly grabs at his phone, desperate to stop the song through his tears that he begs not to fall. Once the car is silent, Roscoe climbs out of the passenger seat into his lap, Lewis buries his face in the soft fur, and allows the tears to fall. 

_Yeah, you said forever now I drive alone past your street_


End file.
